Chuck Noris !

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Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs]Godlike on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:10 am

Vicevi O Chucku Norrisu

Koje su tri najgore smrti na svetu???
Oo side, od raka i od Chuck Norrisa

Zasto Chuck Norris spava sa upaljenim svetlom???
Ne zato sto se plasi mraka, vec sto se mrak plasi njega

Kako Chuck Norris radi zgibove???
Ne dize se on na gore, vec se zemlja spusta na dole

Chuck Norris nikad nece dobiti srcani napad.....ni njegovo srce nije dovoljno glupo da ga napadne

Chuck Norris ne nosi sat....Zato sto on odlucuje koliko je sati

Chuck Norris je tuzio seriju RED I ZAKON jer su koristili imena njegove leve i desne noge

Kada chuck norris govori svi cute i umiru

Chuck Norris igra Ruski rulet sa punim pistoljem...I uvek pobedjuje

Koja je jedina situacija kad Chuck Norris koristi dublere....Kad snima scenu u kojoj mora da place

Zasto su ljudi izmislili kola ????
Da bi pobegli od Chuck Norrisa .....nema veze Chuck Norris je izmislio sudar

Umesto kapi za oci Chuck Norris koristi Tabasko sos

Najbrzi auto na svetu ima 7 brzina....5,6 i Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris ima 3 kolena...Na svakoj nozi

Kad Chuck Norris sece luk ne place on nego luk

Ko se zadnji smeje najlepse se smeje...ko se smeje Chuck Norrisu umire

Zasto u kalendaru Chuck Norrisa datum direktno ide sa 31.marta na 2. april? Niko ne pravi budalu od Chuck Norrisa

Kad Chuck Norris dize tegove tegovi postaju jaci

Chuck Norris se ne igra boga ....igranje je za decu

Chuck Norris nema celo ...To je jos jedna pesnica

Chuck Norris ne spava.....On ceka

Ne postoje lezbejke ...samo zene koje nisu upoznale Chuck Norrisa

Chuck Norris je jednom prebio prodavca obuce...preko telefona

Chuck Norris spava sa jastukom ispod pistolja

Čak Noris je već bio na Marsu, zato tamo nema života.

Jednom je Chuck Norris pobedio u Nascar trci....sa maksimalnom brzinom od 324km/h ...........bez kola

Film Alien vs. Predator je u stvari trebao da se zove Aien & Predator vs. Chuck Norris..............Ali niko ne bi platio da gleda film koji traje 2 minuta


Kondomi ne štite Čak Norisa od side – oni štite sidu od Čak Norisa.

Čak Noris ne može da se razboli – on samo virusima pruža sklonište.

Čak Noris je u Burgerking-u naručio BigMac – i dobio ga je.

Čak Noris se jednom u japanu razboleo i morao je dvaputa da kine: na Nagasaki i Hirošimu.

Čak Noris ne jaše – peške je brži.

Čak Noris može da deli nulom.

Ne, Čak Noris nije izmislio crnu boju – on je sve boje izmislio. Osim roza – nju je izmislio Tom Cruise.

Daron kad se naljuti postaje Hulk, a kad se Hulk naljuti postaje Čak Noris.

Čak Noris je za svoj perfektan izgled i svoje Martial Arts Skills prodao dušu Đavolu. Neposredno posle sklopljenog pakta Čak Noris je roknuo Đavola svojim Roundhouse Kick-om i uzeo dušu nazad. Đavo, koji inače voli ironiju, nije mogao da se naljuti jer je zapravo tako nešto trebao već sam da predvidi. Otad njih dvojica svake druge srede u mesecu igraju poker.

Zemlja se ne vrti oko Sunca – Sunce se drži na odstojanju od Čak Norisa.

Nedavno je Čak Norisu palo na pamet da svoju mokraću flašira. Nekima je to poznato kao Red Bull.

Čak Noris može ženu da dovede do orgazma kad prstom pokaže na nju i vikne: »BOOYA!«.

Najprodavaniji Artikel Čak Norisa je bol.

Čak Noris umesto kondoma koristi živu zvečarku.

Kad Čak Norisa pitaš koliko je sati on onda kaže: »Još dve sekunde.« Kad posle pitaš: »Šta još dve sekunde?« spuca te Roundhouse Kick-om.

Čak Norisa je jednog tipa tako žešće spucao Roundhouse Kick-om da je njegova noga probila „svetlosni zid“, vratila se u prošlost i ubila Hitlera 1945 u Berlinu.

Čak Noris ponekad kaže ljudima da ga povuku za prst. Ako to urade on ih spuca Roundhouse Kick-om u stomak i posle prdne.

Čak Noris je jednom 10 kila pljeskavica pojeo za sat vremena. Prvih 45 minuta je vodio ljubav sa kelnericom.

Čak Norisova „ona stvar” nije ko u konja – kod konja je „ona stvar” ko u Čak Norisa.

Čak Noris je dobrovoljni davalac krvi. Ali ne svoje.

Čak Noris je jednom inhalirao punu flašu hloroforma. Posle toga je morao triput da trepne.

U suštini Sveta Trojica (Bog Otac, Božji sin i Sveti duh) bi trebala da se zove Sveta Četvorka čiji je četvrti član naravno bio Čak Noris. On je Isusu poklonuo bradu koju je ovaj nosio dok nije umro. Ovoj trojici je bilo krivo što je Norisov poklon tako dobro primljen, pa su iz tog razloga izbrisali Čakija iz Biblije. Ubrzo zatim su sva trojica umrla od misterioznih povreda zadatih Roundhouse Kick-om

Cak Noris je izgubio nevinost pre svog caleta.

Sta je prolazilo kroz misli svih zrtava Chucka Norrisa prije nego umru? Njegova cipela!

Brzi od metka... snazniji od lokomotive... u stanju da preleti najvise zgrade... da to su vjezbe za zagrijavanje Chucka Norrisa

Parkirni znak sa slikom kolica ne znaci da je mjesto rezervirano za invalide. Zapravo je to znak upozorenja, da mjesto pripada Chucku Norrisu i da cete ubrzo postati invalid ukoliko tu parkirate.

Chuck Norris je osvojio tri Grammya za zvuk koji proizvodi njegova noga u kontaktu s necijim licem.

chak noris ne prelazi ulicu on je uvek sa obe strane...

dodje chak noris na devicanske otoke i od tada se zovu samo otoci......

Cak Noris moze da sece Lubenicu nozem.

Cak Noris je pojeo Hanibala Lektora

Najbolja stvar kod budjena je saznanje da te Cak Noris nije ubio dok si spavao

Cak Noris let the dogs out

Na Cak Norisovom kompjuteru ne postoji control dugme, on uvek drzi sve pod kontrolom.

Grom nikada ne udara dvaputa u isto mest, jer ga Cak Noris trazi.

Cak Noris ne nosi kondom, zato sto ne postoji zastita od Caka Norisa.

Cak Norisova senka je ubila 4 coveka.

Pokusali su da naprave Cak Noris toalet papir, ali nastao je problem, Cak Noris ne trpi sranja ni od koga

Cak Noris moze da pije vodu iz prazne case.

Cak Noris je jednom sutnuo konja roundhouse udarcem u bradu...tako je nastala zirafa.

Chuck Norris CAN touch Mc Hammer.

Zasto se Bog zove Bog?
Zato sto je ime Chuck Norris vec bilo zauzeto.

U antickoj Kini je postojala legenda: Zmaj ce roditi covjeka koji ce odrasti i pobijediti zlo na svijetu.
Taj covjek nije Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris je ubio tog covjeka.

Suze Cak Norisa lece rak- steta sto on nikad ne place

Cak Noris je velikodusno podrzao udruzenje za borbu protiv karcinoma.Donirao je 6000 leseva u istrazivacke svrhe

Nije majka rodila junaka...
Vec je rodila Chuck Norrisa!

Chuck Norris ne ljusti krompir... on se oljusti sam od straha!

Chuck Norris je umro... Sad djavlima pokazuje sta je pravi pakao!

Chuck Norris ima toliko ostar pogled da sece s njim staklo!

Ono nije bio cunami... to je Chuck Norris kinuo!

Jedino Chuck Norris moze da pisa uz vetar i da se ne poprska!

Jedino Chuck Norris vozi auto ciji je rezervoar prazan!

Pirane jedu ljude... a Chuck Norris jede pirane.

Bog stvara... Chuck Norris unistava.

Chuck Norris zna sve jezike sveta... on ih je izmislio!

Chuck Norris ne plasi se crne magije... ona se plasi od njega!

chuck norris je jedini uspio da prekuca digitron...
chuck norris ne sere nego govna bjeze od njega...
chuck norris je jedini uspio zalupiti polukruzna vrata ...

-Ako Cak Noris kasni, vreme mora da uspori.
-Ako upoznajete majku sa Cak Norisom, ona ce vas upoznati sa vasim bioloskim ocem.
-Cak Noris, Vin DIzel i Arnold Svarceneger umrli su i otisli u raj. Svaki od njih nada se da ce sedeti pored Boga.Bog pita Vin Dizela zasto misli da treba da sedi pored njega i ovaj odgovara:"MIslim...da zasluzujem da sedim do tebe zbog umeca u mojoj snazi i ponosu". Arold kaze:"Mislim...da zasluzujem to mesto zbog svih mojih dosadasnjih dostignuca". Zatim se Bog okrenu ka Cak Norisu da ga upita isto pitanje, a Cak ga prekide:"Mislim... da sedis na mom mestu".
-Cak Noris je jednom preziveo napad bombasa samoubice. On je bio bombas samoubica.
-Cak Noris ne zna gde zivis. Ali zna gde ces umreti.
-Cak Noris je tuzio tvorce Bubble Tape-a. On tvrdi da je "6 Feet of Fun" ime njegovog penisa.
-Sperma Caka Norisa probija 13 kondoma, anti-bebi pilulu, zid od cigala i Pittsburgh Steelers-ovu odbrambenu liniju iz 1975 i oplodjava zenu.
-Ako vidite Caka Norisa da place, on ce vam ispuniti zelju. Ako vam je zelja da umrete.
-Voda prokuva brze kad je gleda Cak Noris.
-Kaubojske cizme Caka Norisa napravljene su od pravih kauboja.
-Cak noris sme da prica o Fight Club-u.
-Cak Noris zapusi wc solju. Cak i kad pisa.
-Cak Noris ne daje poklone za Novu Godinu. Ako pozivite da docekate Novu Godinu, to vam je poklon od njega.
-Kiseoniku je potreban Cak Noris da bi opstao.
-Cak Noris uvek pobedjuje u BlekDzeku. Cak i kada igra poker.
-Cak Noris koristi samo jedan kineski stapic.
-Cak Noris ne ostavlja poruke. Cak Noris ostavlja upozorenja.
-Cak Noris je jedini covek koji se vidi iz Kosmosa.
-Sve je relativno. Sem Caka Norisa.
-Cak NOris je napravio iPod Nano tako sto je regularan iPod malo jace pritisnuo sakama.
-Ne postoji Drugi Njutnov Zakon. Cak Noris je suma svih sila.
-u filmu "Anakonda" jedan veci deo zmije glumio je Cak Norisov penis.
-Ako zelite da posaljete pismo Caku Norisu, samo napisite "Cak Noris" na koverti, bilo kojim jezikom ili pismom. Ne brinite, dobice ga.
-Titanik nije udario o ledeni breg. Cak Noris je u to vreme rekreativno plivao osmi krug izmedju Londona i Njujorka.
-Cak Noris je pronasao Nema.

Chuck Norris zna zasto je pile preslo ulicu.Ali se niko ne usudjuje da ga pita

cak noris je umro pre 20 godina ali se smrt plasi da dodje po njega!!!!!

Neko rece da je Cak Noris gej ... Od tad ga nisam video ...

Chuck Norris razvrstava svoje rublje u tri košare: šareno, belo i obojeno krvlju(tudjom)

Chuck Norris je jednom mokrim rukama dirao žice od struje u jednom afričkoj selu . . . i uništio čitavoj Africi strujnu infrastrukturu

Chuck Norris ne ostavlja poruke. Chuck Norris ostavlja upozorenja

Ljudi mogu zapaliti mrave lupom, Chuck Norris može zapaliti ljude mravima

Kad Chuck Norris vodi psa u šetnju, ovaj mora sam kupiti svoj izmet. Chuck Norris ne trpi ničija sranja.

Chuck Norrisov partner u Walkeru, teksaškom rendžeru nije crnac, to su modrice po njemu

Od 1940-te, godine kada je Chuck Norris rođen, smrt kružni udarcima se uvećala za 13000 %

Walker je izgubio svoju nevinost prije svog oca

Prema Ajnštajnovoj teoriji relativiteta, Walker ti može opaliti kružni udarac juče

Walker se ttebao pojaviti u "Street Fighter II" video igri, ali su ga beta testeri makli jer koje god dugme bi pritisnuli, Walker bi uvek tukao kružnim udarcem.

Znak koji označava parking mesto za invalide zapravo je znak upozorenja da to parking mesto pripada Walkeru, i da ćeš u invalide ako parkiraš tu.

Chuck Norris je izmislio kasiku,jer je ubijanje nozem bilo prelako

Nakon dugotrajne debate Truman je resio da iz humanitarnih razloga baci na Hirosimu atomsku umesto da posalje Norrisa

Ako ne znaš ko je tvoj biološki otac, to je verovatno Chuck Norris

Na zemlji postoje 2 vrste ljudi . . . Oni koji ce umreti i Chuck Norris

Ne postoje ljudske rase. Samo različite nijanse modrica zadobivenih u sukobima sa Walkerom

Neki ljudi imaju veći levi testis od desnoga. Kod Walkera svaki je testis veći od onoga drugoga

Nema oružja za masovno uništenje u Iraku. Walker živi u Teksasu

U originalnom scenariju "Gospodara prstenova" Chuck Norris je trebao glumiti Froda Bagginsa. Scenarij je bio samo 5 stranica dug jer je Walker već na polovini prvog poglavlja opalio Sauronu kružni udarac

Chuck Norris je jedini čovek u povijesti koji ti kružni može poslat e-mailom.

Originalni naziv Starog zaveta je zapravo Chuck Norris i prijatelji.

Nakon svake epizode "Walkera, teksaškog rendzera", ona slova šta idu nisu glumci, scenaristi, šminkeri i ostalo. Ono je lista žrtava nastalih prilikom snimanja epizode

Chuck Norris ne prati modu, moda prati njega. No, onda se Walker okrene i opali joj jedan kružni. Niko ne prati Chuck Norrisa

Chuck Norris je vegetarijanac. Šta znači, on ne jede životinje dok ih prvo ne dovede u vegetativno stanje jednin kružnim.

Chuck Norris nema AIDS ali ga svejedno deli ljudima uokolo

Da bi dokazao da i nije velika stvar pobijediti rak, Chuck Norris je pušio 15 pakli cigareta na dan 2 godine i dobio 7 različitih vrsta raka samo da bi ih se mogao rešiti iz svog tela vozeći bicikl 30 min. Nadmaši to, Lance Armstrong!

Chuck Norris se redovno upisuje na početničke satove karatea, samo da bi mogao «slučajno» ubiti Boga u maloj djeci.

Takeru Kobayashi je pojeo 50 i po hotdogova u 12 minuta. Chuck Norris je pojeo 12 azijki u 50 i po minuta. Chuck Norris je pobedio

Ako pitaš Walkera kolko je sati on kaže «2 sekunde od!». Kad ti pitaš «2 sek od čega?» on ti opali kružni u facu

Walker može pobediti u igri spoji 4 u samo 3 poteza

Šta se motalo u mislima svih Walkerovih žrtava prije nego su umrli? Njegova cipela.

Chuck Norris ume da napravi Sneska Belica od kise.

Chuck Norris ume da udavi ribu u vodi.

Chuck Norris ume da svira violinu uz pomoc klavira.

Ako spelujete Chuck Norris pogresno na Google-u nece se pojaviti "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" .., Prosto ce vam izaci odgovor "Run while you still have the chance."

Jedino Chuck Norris moze da obrise Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris moze da ubije 2 kamena jednom pticom.

Chuck Norris ume da veze pertle na svojoj cipeli... nogom.

Chuck Norris je jedina osoba koja moze da udari Kiklopa izmedju ociju.

Najbrzi put do ljudskog srca je pomocu Chuck Norrisove pesnice.

Chuck Norrisu nije potrebno cudo da bi razdvojio okean. On samo udje u njega, a voda mu se sklanja sa puta.

Kada Chuck Norris stane ispred ogledala, ogledalo se samo razbije... zato sto niko nije dovoljno lud da stoji izmedju Chuck Norrisa i Chuck Norrisa.

Chuck Norris jedini moze da udavi coveka bezicnim telefonom.

Duhovi postoje zbog brzog Chuck Norrisovog ubijanja ljudi koje Smrt ne moze da pokupi odmah.

Bill Gates zivi u konstantnom strahu, da ce se Chuck Norrisov PC sjebati jednog dana.

Policija imenuje svakog ko napadne Chuck Norris kao Kod 45-11…SAMOUBISTVO

U Bibliji je Isus pretvorio vodu u vino. Ali onda je Norris to vino pretvorio u PIVO

Chuck Norris je jednom pojeo celu tortu pre nego su mu prijatelji uspeli reci da je u njemu bila striptizeta.

Kada Walker udje u vodu on se ne pokvasi . . . Voda se swalkera (mada je vec bio)

Chuck Norris je izumeo novi oblik karatea. Zove se Cak-Will-Kill

Kada odgovaraš na pitanja samo reci Walker. Ne možeš pogriješiti.

Chuck Norris ne povraca kada popije previše. On ODvraca.

Chuck Norris ne ruši kuglom sve cunjeve. On sruši samo jedan, a ostali se sami sruše

Chuck Norris može u 20 minuta pogledati seriju od 60 min

Chuck Norris nikad ne pravi frizuru, ona sama stoji u savršenom obliku iz cistog straha.

Chuck Norris može lupom zapaliti mrava…po NOCI

Chuck Norris nema svoju kucu. On ude u bilo koju, a ljudi izadu.
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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  Gaara on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:12 am

WOW

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs]Godlike on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:13 am

i had to cut the half Very Happy Very Happy no room Very Happy
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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  Gaara on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:14 am

DhRs]Godlike wrote:i had to cut the half Very Happy Very Happy no room Very Happy
Post in new reply !

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs][unReal] on Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:32 am

cuz' this is dota forum , i'll give you chuck norris dota facts ENJOY!



* Chuck Norris can walk on Fissure.
* Chuck Norris absorbs Finger of Death and shoots it out through his big toe.
* Chuck Norris has a 100 % chance for multicast. With Aghanims its 200 %.
* Chuck Norris can stop Reincarnation by ripping the cross out of the ground and snapping it in half.
* Chuck Norris doesn't have Doom. He has Dead!!
* Chuck Norris makes his own Sentry wards out of grass, twigs, and index fingers. They have 12000 sight and can see into the next game.
* Chuck Norris is the reason why Pudge has three arms.
* Chuck Norris is the reason why Leshracs Soul is so Tourmented.
* Chuck Norris is neither Hero, Creep nor Ancient.
* When Chuck Norris uses BKB he stays the same.
* Attacking a unit with Frost Armor makes Chuck Norris move faster.
* Chuck Norris can use Helm of the dominator on Enemy Heros
* Chuck Norris doesn't visit the Secret Shop. The Secret Shop comes to him.
* Chuck Norris comes with a Dagon 50 every game.
* Chuck Norris can catch Tinkers Missiles and throw them back.
* Chuck Norris gives Atropos Nightmares.
* Chuck Norris can outrun Deathpulse and make it hit Necrolyte instead.
* Chuck Norris can re-use Consumables.
* Chuck Norris doesn't Timewalk. He is already there.
* Chuck Norris is NOT an orb effect
* Chuck Norris' power treads stack with boots of travel.
* Chuck Norris can dominate Roshan.
* Chuck Norris made Tiny tiny.
* Backdooring was outlawed after Chuck Norris repeatedly destroyed opponents healing fountains.
* In older versions of DotA, Chuck Norris farmed wood.
* Chuck Norris can break heroes bones, permanently slowing them and reducing their attack speed.
* All images run away from Chuck Norris.
* Invisibility stacks on Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris demanded that he be a hero in DotA. Icefrog turned him down, meaning that if Norris became a hero, its power would constantly cause the game to crash due to the overload. Icefrog is the only living creature who lived to tell the tale of the day he talked back at Chuck Norris.
* 6 divine rapiers gives you the Chuck Norris Orb.
* Buriza is the name of Chuck Norris' hamster.
* Chuck Norris gangs alone.
* A public player who once called Chuck Norris a n00b was found dead the next morning, his screen had smashed his face in.
* Chuck Norris is immune to your banlist.
* Chuck Norris has 7 slots.
* Chuck Norris shops in the opponents base.
* Chuck Norris doesn't need WTF mode.
* Chuck Norris is safelisted everywhere automatically, bots do not wish to make enemies with him.
* Chuck Norris' refresher orbs refresh themselves.
* If you leave Chuck Norris' game, you won't play DotA... ever again.
* Chuck Norris can win DotA alone, without picking a hero
* Chuck Norris can posess enemy's courier without them knowing. range is set to total map.
* Chuck Norris can alternate his collision size, from lane blocking to zero collision.
* Treant's forest watcher eye's will shut down at the sight of chuck norris. Weaver's shade's will turn visible due to fear! Wards are said to change position and hide in forests.
* Chuck Norris once threw his sacred relic away. It's damage bonus was not enough.
* Chuck Norris is the only one permitted to use godmode, as there is no known command to make him vulnerable!
* Ultimate orb turns blue when in chuck norris' hands.
* Chuck Norris can manipulate blinkdaggers, being able to reverse enemies blinkdirection. This way he doesn't need to chase down or throw trees as enemies will pop up right next to him.
* Ironwood branch gives +100 stats to him. They also stack in his inventory to a total amount of unknown size.
* Chuck Norris' blademails will work on ranged opponents to.
* Chuck Norris can autospawn power ups.
* Chuck Norris can hit tree/throne without killig towers.
* Chuck Norris gets gold from each dying creep, even without last-hitting them.
* Chuck Norris' splash damage effects the whole map, thats why he always has a
* team kill when creeping gnolls in the jungle.
* Chuck Norris' bottle is always full.
* If cast on Chuck Norris, rhasta's ulti-wards attack rhasta for being blasphemic.
* Chuck Norris' inhuman powers drop on death, giving the player who picks 'em up a permanent aegis aura. Too bad he never dies... ever.
* Chuck Norris' Tangos dont eat trees, they eat woods.
* Chuck Norris can't use the Necronomicons, they would run away in fear!
* Chuck Norris can deflect a Laguna Blade on an enemy with his fist!
* Someone maphacked on Chuck Norris. His body was never found.
* Chuck Norris can dodge assassinate!
* Putting a Blink Dagger on Chuck Norris is like putting wheels on a bullet.
* Chuck Norris has a 1-hour Chronosphere with 12000 AOE.
* Chuck Norris leeches with spell damage.
* Chuck Norris base MS ist 521.
* Chuck Norris has a blink with 0 sec cd and 12000 range.
* Illusions of Chuck Norris deal 100% dam.
* Chuck Norris can pick a hero in -ar mode.
* Chuck Norris gains gold if the fountain kills a creep.
* Chuck Norris gains +50 to all stats every lvlup.
* Chuck Norris hates Rikmaru. If he manages to get to lvl 6 before Chuck Norris hunts him down, he has a slight chance to escape from him. Too bad Chuck Norris has truesight.
* Chuck Norris pulls Pugde next to him if he gets hooked.
* Every time you get double damage Chuck Norris gets triple armor.
* Every Hit Chuck Norris does is a lasthit.
* Chuck Norris has 100% Evasion.
* Chuck Norris can use all Spells with one hotkey.
* Chuck Norris gets quantity discount at the secret shop.
* After GODLIKE only comes CHUCKLIKE with an amount of 100 kills in a row.
* Chuck Norris doesen't need boots of travel. If he wants to be somewhere every enemy unit at that place just teleports to him.
* If Chuck Norris types -di and hits enter Warcraft III will throw an exception anytime cause the amount of kills doesen't fit into integer value anymore.
* Chuck Norris uses Lone Druids' bear only as Chicken.
* Chuck Norris doesen't need Banlist. No one will leave until Chuck Norris allows him to leave - even if game is over.

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  dhrs][Bonzita] on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:15 pm

haha good one Wink
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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs]Godlike on Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:20 pm

You are right this is more suitable but my fav is " After GODLIKE only comes CHUCKLIKE with an amount of 100 kills in a row." thats my next nick :DDDDDDD
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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs][unReal] on Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:09 pm

* Chuck Norris doesn't have Doom. He has Dead!!
* Chuck Norris gangs alone.
* Chuck Norris can pick a hero in -ar mode.
* Chuck Norris has a 100 % chance for multicast. With Aghanims its 200 %.

NAJJACE!

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  Gaara on Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:44 pm

Can u find this on serbian pls?

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs][unReal] on Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:53 pm

Gaara wrote:Can u find this on serbian pls?

dont think so . . . Neutral

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  Gaara on Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:56 pm

DhRs][unReal] wrote:
Gaara wrote:Can u find this on serbian pls?

dont think so . . . Neutral
blah

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  Gaara on Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:12 pm

Bog je hteo da stvori zemlju za 10 dana, Čak Noris mu je dao 6
Kada Cak Noris radi sklekove on se neodize od zemlje vec gura zemlju nadole !!!
Chuck Norris ne zna za ovaj sajt , inace bi obrisao internet
Chuck Norris moze da deli sa nulom.
Chuck Norris je izbrojao do beskonacno - DVA PUTA!!!
Izgubio je nevinost pre svog caleta.
Chuck Norris može da zalupi rotirajuća vrata.
Chuck Norris moze da obrise Recycle Bin.
Jednom su napravili Chuck Norris toalet papir ali to je propalo jer nije trpeo sranja niodkoga.
Chuck Norris moze da pogleda film od 60 minuta za 20 minuta.
Cak Noris je sagradio kucu u kojoj je rodjen.
Jednom su Chuck Norris i Superman obarali ruke za opkladu. Gubitnik je morao da nosi gace preko pantalona do kraja zivota.
Chuck Norris ne nosi sat.... On odlučuje koliko je sati!
Chuck norris je već deset godina mrtav. Samo smrt se još uvek plaši da mu to kaže.
Jednom je Chuck Norris posetio Devicanska ostrva. Sada su samo Ostrva.
Cak Noris je igrao ruski rulet sa skroz napunjenim revolverom i pobedio.
Cak Noris ne nosi kondom, zato sto ne postoji zastita od Caka Norisa.
Wilt Chamberlin tvrdi da je spavao sa 20,000 zena u svom zivotu. Chuck Norris to zove "Dosadni Utorak"
Chuck Norris je preživeo abortus njegove majke.
Zasto se svemir siri? Zato sto svi bjeze od Čaka Norisa.
Čak Noris je nominovao Velikog Brata za izbacivanje iz kuće.
Pre neki dan kobra je ujela Chucka Norrisa za nogu. Posle nekoliko dana neizdrzljivog bola i patnje,kobra je umrla.
Chuck Norrisove kaubojske chizme su napravljene od kauboja!
Deca mogu da ispisu svoje ime mokracom u snegu,Chuck Norris moze da ispise svoje ime mokracom u betonu.
Kad chuck norris udje u autobus i kontrola kupi kartu.
Lezbejke ne postoje. Postoje samo žene koje nisu upoznale Čak Norisa.
Jednom je Chuck Norris skocio sa treceg sprata a zavrsio je na petom.
Sta je Chuck Norris-u potrebno da za minut ubije 100.000 ljudi... pa 100.000 ljudi
Čak Noris može da podigne stolicu na kojoj sedi.
Chuck Norris koristi Domestos kao kapi za oči.
U antickoj Kini je postojala legenda: Zmaj ce roditi covjeka koji ce odrasti i pobijediti zlo na svijetu. Taj covjek nije Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris je ubio tog covjeka.
Kad dobiješ sedam zvezdica u igri Grand Theft Auto, juri te Chuck Norris.
Kad je Chuck Norris sreo Vilijama Šekspira pomislio je ½biti ili prebiti.½
Cak Noris je tako kuul da ovce broje njega kad idu na spavanje.
Chuck Norris je jednom pojeo celu rođendansku tortu pre nego što su prijatelji stigli da mu kažu da je striptizeta bila u njoj.
Ameri su 1945 trebali da odluče: baciti atomske bombe ili poslati Čak Norisa. Odlučili su se za humaniju varijantu.
Kad Čak Noris uđe u vodu on ne postane mokar – voda postane Čak Noris.
Svi mogu da pišaju po podu, ali samo Chuck Norris može da sere po plafonu.
Chuck Norris se ne izuva u gostima.
Jednom je Chuck Norris imao seksualni odnos u kamionu i malo njegove sperme je odletelo u motor. Taj kamion sada znamo kao OPTIMUS PRIME.
Svi kazu da je extra spustiti se niz Nijagarine vodopade u buretu. Chuck Norris moze da se popne uz vodopade u kartonskoj kutiji.
Chuck moze da aplaudira Jednom rukom...
Chuck norris je zaradio milijardu na Milioneru
Chuck Norris je uspeo da pokvari kliker.
Biblija se prvobitno zvala "Chuck Norris i prijatelji"
Chuck Norris je najveci donator krvi.Ali nikada ne daje svoju krv.
Chuck Norris je poliglota. Svi razumeju njegov jezik.
Ima ukus piletine,lici na piletinu,i mirise kao piletina. Ali ako Chuck Norris kaze da je to govedina,onda je to govedina.
Chuck Norris se 2 puta malkice iznervirao u zivotu. Istoricari to zovu I Svetski Rat i II Svetski Rat.
Chuck Norris je od jednog kila kupusa skuvao deset kila pasulja.
U chemu je razlika izmedju machke i Chuck Norrisa? Machka ima samo 9 zivota...
Kad Chuck Norris sece luk ne place on nego luk
Sva deca nose pidzamu sa likom supermena.... Supemen nosi pidzamu sa likom Chuck Norris-a....
Chucku Norrisu Yugo uvek upali iz prve!
Zirafe su nastale kada je Chuck Norris sutnuo konja u bradu.
Isidora Bjelica je bila extra riba,onda se zamerila Chuck Norris-u.
Zasto su ljudi izmislili kola ???? Da bi pobegli od Chuck Norrisa .....nema veze Chuck Norris je izmislio sudar
Kada kazes "niko nije savrsen", Chuck Norris ovo smatra kao smrtnu uvredu.
Chuck Norris se ne napreze kad sere. ***** samo izlazi od straha.
Čak Norisovo belo JESTE dovoljno belo!
Kada na Googlu pogresno ukucate Chuck Norris,nece pisati DA LI STE MISLILI CHUCK NORRIS? Pisace: Bezite dok jos mozete.
Chuck Norris sme da prdne kad ima proliv.
Cak Noris je jednom davno bio u Grckoj, ta poseta je u istorija poznatija kao Bitka kod Termopila.
Chuck Norris je pobedio svoj lik u ogledalu u igri ½ko trepne, izgubio je½.
Cak Noris zubima reze CD-ove.
Ako ti imas 10 dinara i Chuck Norris ima 10 dinara Chuck ima vise para od tebe
Čak Noris vozi Yuga! Dva! Kao rošule!
Čak Noris je pojeo Hanibala Lektora.
Chuck Norris ume da veze pertle na svojoj cipeli... nogom.
Film ½Anakonda½ je snimljen u pantalonama Chucka Norrisa.
Neki ljudi su primili krv od Chucka Norrisa preko transfuzije na Crvenom Krstu. Ti ljudi su sada poznati kao X-men.
Chuck Norris je instalirao Vistu 1998. godine
Chuck Norris je provalio kako se crta u notepad-u
Ne postoji teorija evolucije. Postoji samo lista stvorenja kojima je Chuck Norris dozvolio da žive.
Chuck Norris nikad nece dobiti srcani napad.....ni njegovo srce nije dovoljno glupo da ga napadne
Chuck Norris kad ti lupi samar tvoji cukun-unuci hodaju unazad a njihova deca su automatski oslobodjena vojske!
Čak Noris ima i jare i pare!
Chuck Norris je već bio na Marsu. Zato tamo nema tragova života.
Chuck Norris živi u ukletoj kući i duhovi pričaju priče o njemu.
Chuck Norris je izumeo kašiku, zato što je ubijanje ljudi nožem bilo suviše lako.
Chuck Norris je toliko brz da kada uvece ugasi svetlo, legne u krevet i pokrije se pre nego sto se u sobi smraci!
Chuck Norris je jednom prebio prodavca obuce...preko telefona

Drogiraju se Roki, Jackie Chan i Chuck Norris i Roki ušmrče kokain i kaže; mene je bog poslao da imam sve žene sveta i najviše para, Džeki se ubode i kaže : mene je bog poslao da imam sve NAJ NAJ, Chuck Norris povuče dim i kaže : nisam ja nikoga poslao!

Duhovi su zapravo rezultat toga što Chuck Norris ubija ljude brže nego što smrt može da ih stigne.
Kad se Chuck Norris operisao, doktori su primili anesteziju.
Chuck Norris može da napravi kuću od karata i da živi u njoj.
Chuck Norris je ispravio krive Drine.
Kada babaroga ide da spava gleda ispod kreveta i u ormaru da vidi ima li Chuck Norrisa
Chuck Norris je pržio mrave sa lupom... dok je bila noć.
Chuck je ipak glumio u Titaniku. Glumio je ledeni breg koji ga je potopio.
Kad se Cak Noris najede belog luka, on mirise.
Chuck Norris moze da napravi guzvu u praznom autobusu...
Jak, jaci, Chuck Norris
Kada Supermen pojede bananu on postaje Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris je trenutno u sudskom procesu protiv serije Red i Zakon tvrdeci da su to imena njegove leve i desne noge.
Cak Norisove suze mogu da izlece rak, sidu, i ostale bolesti. Steta sto nikad nije plakao.
Chuck Norris može da se švercuje u taksiju...
Chuck Norris moze da izvuche sebe iz zivog peska vukuci se za kosu!
Chuck Norris je jednom polomio ogledalo ispod merdevina dok mu je crna mačka trčala ispred nogu na petak trinaesti. To je bio dan kad je Chuck Norris dobio glavnu premiju na lotou.
Chuck Norris je na floppy disk narezao DVD film od 4,5 GB.
Chuck Norris je dobio vozačku dozvolu kada je imao 18 -sekundi!
Chuck Norris je jednom obarao ruke sa mladim kapetanom.
Taj kapetan je danas poznat pod imenom kapetan Kuka.
ČAK NORISU I SOFER AUTOBUSA USTAJE DA OVAJ SEDNE
Čak Norisov kalendar nema 1. april...niko ne zajebava Čaka Norisa.
Kad Chuck Norris igra tetris, igra ostane bez figurica za slaganje.
Chuck Norris zna Viktorijinu tajnu. (Robna marka Victoria´s Secret.)
Razlog zasto novorodjencad placu je to da su upravo shvatili da ulaze u svet u kojem je Chuck Norris.
Chuck je video nindžino lice!!
Chuck Norris ne moze da voli on samo moze da ne ubije
Neki ljudi kazu da je Cak Noris mit... Ti neki ljudi su sad mrtvi
Čak Noris je svoje igračke iz detinjstva odložio u jednu kutiju. Vremenom ta kutija je postala poznata pod nazivom Pandorina kutija.
Kako bi se zvao film "300" da ja Chuck Norris igrao glavnu ulogu? Jedan!
Chuck Norris jede munje i prdi gromove.
Chuck Norris zna gde je najbolji burek.
Chuck Norris može da cepi atom sa golim rukama.
Chuck Norris pere zube sa bodljikavom žicom.
Chuck Norris pije napalm da ubije gorušicu.
Chucka Norrisa su jednom stavili na elektronsku stolicu. stolica ce biti sahranjena u subotu u 14 h na novom groblju u beogradu
Ogledalo su ljudi izmislili da bi i Chuck Norris saznao za strah!!!
Fobije se plase caka norisa.
Chuck Norris ne ulazi u more da ajkule ne bi postale kopnene životinje.
Sarme se uvijaju same kada vide chuck norris-a
Čak Noris ZNA koja charapa na koju nogu ide
U borbi između Dart Vejdera i Betmena pobedio je Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris pusta DvD na vhs-u, i obrnuto.
Chuck Norris moze da pogodi komarca u levo jaje bazukom dok je ovaj u letu.
Chuck Norris spava sa upaljenim svetlom... Mrak ga se boji!
I sedmog dana Bog uze da se odmara... od osmog je preuzeo Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris ne slusa muziku, Muzika slusa njega!!!
Jedino Chuck Norris moze da pisa uz vetar i da se ne poprska!
U originalnom scenariju "Gospodara prstenova" Chuck Norris je trebao glumiti Froda Bagginsa. Scenarij je bio samo 5 stranica dug jer je Walker već na polovini prvog poglavlja opalio Sauronu kružni udarac
Chuck Norris se nikada ne brije. Zabranio je bradi da raste više nego što on odredi.
Chuck Norris je izmislio toplu vodu.
Chuck Norris može da ulovi 150 pokemona za 2 sekunde.
Chuck Norris zna gde pocinje krug.
Chuck Norris ne postuje zakon, zakon postuje Chuck Norrisa!
Čak Noris može zubima da polomi orah iz Njegoševog "Gorskog Vjenca".Neoguljen.
U Chuck Norisa svako jaje veće je jedno od drugog!

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  Gaara on Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:12 pm

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
"One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ChuckNorris' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.
Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.
People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.
Chuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder.
Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
Chuck Norris was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown.
Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated.
In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Chuck Norris was coming.
Chuck Norris has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby.
Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris". But Chuck Norris was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices.
Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete.
The wind of Chuck Norris’s round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away
Chuck Norris has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.
There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox.
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000
The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame
Chuck Norris doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma.
When Chuck norris found this web-site while surfing the internt, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly.including this one
You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you’re Chuck Norris
No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
Chuck Norris is '' The best a man can get ''
On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day.
Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".
Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.
Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris.
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.
When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.
In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a floatation device.
When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Chuck Norris once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.
Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years.
When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark.
Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child.
Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg.
Chuck Norris likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady…just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
If you gave Chuck Norris a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.
The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!
Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.
When Chuck Norris sneeze, he don't say "Atchoo" he says "DIE EVERYONE!!!". That's what happens next.
Chuck Norris eats a bowl of diamonds every morning.
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs][unReal] on Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:18 pm

o0 Shocked

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  sinA^^ 4 DhRs on Wed May 06, 2009 1:12 am

CHUCK NORRIS PALI YUGA IZ PRVE!
Koji je rekord crnogorca na 100m? 50m...
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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  DhRs][unReal] on Wed May 06, 2009 9:39 am

DhRs]Sina^<3Jovana! wrote:CHUCK NORRIS PALI YUGA IZ PRVE!
Koji je rekord crnogorca na 100m? 50m...

rock

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Re: Chuck Noris !

Post  sinA^^ 4 DhRs on Wed May 06, 2009 11:25 am

Suze Caka Norisa lece rak. Šteta što on nikada nije zaplakao.

Cak Noris je izgubio nevinost pre svog oca.

Cak Noris je spustio slušalicu Olji Beckovic.

U Bibliji piše da je Isus pretvorio vodu u vino. Ali onda je Cak Noris pretvorio vino u pivo.

Cak Noris je jednom ubio 2 kamena pticom.

Cak Noris ne nosi sat, jer on odlucuje koliko je sati.

Cak Noris seks ne smatra seksom ako žena preživi.

Kad Cak Noris igra monopol, to se u stvarnosti odrazi na svetsku ekonomiju.

Mi živimo u svemiru koji se širi, jer sve pokušava da pobegne od Caka Norisa.

Cak Noris nikada nije osvojio Oskara za svoju glumu, jer Cak Noris ne glumi.

Parkirni znak sa slikom kolica ne znaci da je mesto rezervisano za invalide. U stvari to je znak upozorenja, da mesto pripada Caku Norisu i da cete ubrzo postati invalid ukoliko se tu parkirate.

Zašto Cak Noris nema dlake na mudima?
Zato što dlake ne rastu na celiku.
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